hersareHIS

The cradle of my heart and a miniature of my soul. Everything lifted to the One above. Created to share to the world an unbounded Love. A thousand words unspoken but hundreds of emotions never left unwritten. To the beating of His heart, i wish to march with glee. To the revolutions of His Spirit, i pray that i will dwell. Keeping all our moments together, locked in my heart. All that I have is His. Without, I have none.

KINGston June 26, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — Joanna Michelle Valdez @ 2:14 am
Tags: , , , ,

Noong isang gabi lang, sa wakas lumantad na ang bagay na matagal ko ring pinaghahanap.

Nasira ang bagpack na madalas kong gamitin sa pagpasok. Sa dami ba naman kasi ng mga nilalagay ko dun at sa ilang kilometro ng pinagsama-samang lakad ko sa araw-araw, hindi na nakapagtatakang bumigay siya. Kaya tanggap ko ng, sa kalaunan, masisira din siya, kahit paborito ko pa. O baka nga, dahil paborito ko siya.

Naisip ko, wala namang materyal na bagay ang nagtatagal sa akin eh. Ang mga doll shoes ko, naku, kahit mamahalin man o binili lang sa tiangge, pare-pareho lang ang tagal ng ipinamamalagi sa aking pag-aari. Di kalaunan, numinipis ang swelas, pumupusyaw ang kulay o bigla-bigla na lang nawawala ang pagkakadikit. Sa tatlong taon na ginugol ko sa unibersidad, nakadalawang sako na ata ako ng sapatos na sinira. Bionic ata ang mga paa ko.

Isama mo na ang mga daliri ko. Bionic din. Ang mga cellphone? Magpapamisa na ang nanay ko kung tatagal ng mahigit isang taon sa akin ang isang cellphone na hindi ipinaparepare, reformat o kung anung uri ng pagbubuting-ting. Sulit na sulit sa akin ang warranty kasi wala pang isang taon, siguradong kakailanganin na ng cellphone ko ang presensiya ng service center. Nokia, Motorola, pati china phone at cherry mobile walang naiba. Pati nga samsung na kasinglakas daw ng galaxy, wala ring kawala. Di na umaabot ng 2nd anniversary ang mga cellphone sa akin. Sabi nila baka iPhone ang sagot. Parang ayoko namang subukan, baka iyakan ko lang.

Yun nga, dahil sira na ang paborito kong bag, sabi ni mama, gamitin ko muna yung dati, na buo pa naman. Sumunod naman ako, alangan namang pilitin kong gamitin ang sira. Tsaka gabi na, wala ng mall na bukas. Habang naglilipat ng gamit, habang binubuksan ko ang bawat isang bulsa, dun sa pinakamaliit na compartment, bumulaga ang flashdrive kong matagal ko ng di nakikita. Na sa malamang ay di naman talaga magpaparamdam, kasi bagay lang naman siya.

Pero kahit bagay lang siya, oh anong laking halaga niya. Buong summer ko siyang hinanap, di ko matandaan kung saan inilagay. Di tulad ng bag, o ng mga sapatos ko, o kahit pa ng mga cellphone ko, yung flashdrive na yon, kinaya niyang tumagal. Anim na taon na siya. Medyo sira na nga kung titignan. Pero gumagana pa. kaya nga kahit 2Gb lang yon, hinanap ko talaga, pinagtanung-tanong pa sa iba. Eh noong mga pagkakataong yon, bukod sa suliranin ng pag-uulyanin, di ko talaga siya makita.

Kaya noong isang gabi, siguradong di maipinta ang muka ko, nung nakita ko siyang nanahimik sa maliit na bulsa ng luma kong bag. Hinawakan ko kaagad. Di makapaniwalang, hala, andito ka lang pala. Kagaya kasi ng iba ko pang gamit, tinanggap ko ng marahil, tapos na ang paninilbihan niya. Oo, di ako kaagad bumili ng panibago, kasi iniisip kong puwede namang wala. Pero sa totoo lang, oo, puwede ngang wala, kaso mas masaya at mas madali kung meron.

Napagtanto ko, hinanap ko naman ah, pero bakit di ko nakita noon? Bakit ngayon lang kung kailan tumigil na akong maghanap? Anong pinagkaiba ng ngayon sa noon?

Inisip ko yung sabi ng lola ko, kaya daw di mo nahahanap yung mga bagay na nawawala mo kasi may mga nuno o duwende na pinaglalaruan ka, na natutuwa sa pagkaaburido mo. Pero pag tumigil ka na sa paghahanap at nakita nilang di ka na aburido, ilalabas na nila ang bagay na yon kasi di na sila na-eentertain ng pagpapanic mo.

Hmmm.. Tama ba si lola? Nagsawa na nga kaya ang mga nuno at di na nila ko pinagtitripan kaya lumabas ang flashdrive ko?

 Lola, feeling ko hindi. Sorry po.

Inisip ko yung mga nangyari sa akin habang wala ang flashdrive ko. Una, naging resourceful ako, ginamit ko yung mga lumang SD card at nakakalat lang na card reader sa bahay. Pangalawa, mas sumipag ako,tinatapos ko na sa bahay yung mga sulatin para mai-print ko na dahil wala akong flashdrive na gagamitin pangprint sa labas pagnaghapit ako. Pangatlo, natututo akong maging masinop sa mga gamit ko. Panghuli, natuto akong pahalagahan kung anong meron ako. Na may mga bagay palang nawawala sayo kasi hindi mo sila pinahalagahan nung andiyan pa sila. Pero sa kabila ng pagkawala, namamangha akong isipin na di ko naisip bumili ng panibago. Siguro nga, hindi naman laging pagpapalit ang sagot sa mga nawawala.

At sa proseso ng paghahanap, napagtanto kong makikita mo lang ang isang bagay kapag handa ka ng makita ito. Isa pa, na sapat na ang mga bagay na meron ako ngayon para punan ang mga pangagailangan ko. Na pag nagkaroon ako ng mas marami o mas maganda, bonus na lang yon para pagbutihin ko pa.

Kaya nung nakita ko na uli ang flashdrive ko, na may scotch tape pa rin para di mahati sa gitna….

Nung nakita kong buhay pa ang 2Gb kingston slide data traveller na binili ko sa ipon ko nung high school…

Isa lang ang bumaling sa isip kong, magkasabay na nagugulat at natutuwa…

Walang mga duwendeng nagpopower-trip.

Wala.

Naniniwala akong hindi duwende ang nagparealize sakin ng mga bagay na natutunan ko.

At ang pinagkaiba ng ngayon sa noon?

Ngayon, handa na akong magpahalaga.

 

Confronting is loving you know! April 23, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — Joanna Michelle Valdez @ 2:09 am
Tags: , ,

If a person hurt you or offended you but obviously he/she doesn’t know, you MUST tell that person. Not everyone is sensitive enough to know that they’ve done something wrong or on up to what extent the damage had built up. Though hard and even more frustrating, the offended part should tell the offender honestly and calmly about what he/she feels. That’s helping the offender to realize his/her mistakes and to avoid doing them next time. 🙂 I believe everything can be fixed with a conversation full of respect from both parties. Do good by helping each other to do good. Just remember that in every talk, we must SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE. 🙂

Twas amazing how God revealed this to me today. As I was browsing the homepage of my FB account, I can’t help but notice the status of some of my college blockmates, the pictures that they’ve posted and I went reminiscing the happenings of the past semester. Being on our Junior year was tough, we’ve done a lot of academic stuff, and saying that, was an understatement. A lot of sleeping and meal hours were missed, even social lives were rendered to a halt. I guess, because of too much stress, we sometimes forget to be loving with each other. Yes, we still bond and laugh together but often at times specially during group paper works, our patience for each other surpasses its threshold. I think because of a lot of pressure, we’ve done damages to our classmates, may it be emotionally or psychologically. We might have offended each other in more ways than one. Everything seemed to be in a fast pace last sem and we might not have thought of this through. Some people have already done conversations, but I believe most of us haven’t, still, bad feelings are present. And holding those until the next semester might bring faulty connections and further misunderstandings. I realized that avoiding our offenders is not the key to a harmonious relationship– and to a peaceful mind, it is, being honest and taking that courageous step of initiating a conversation.  So now I guess my heart prays a lot for these people that I love, and even for me, for I think I’m still occasionally hard headed when it comes to this aspect. My blockmates and I still have two years to spend together and it is inevitable and impossible that we won’t be able to work again together, so I think that settling the past would mean a lot.

Another idea that’s clear to me now is that, talking to that person (our offender) shows that you are concerned and that you care for him/her because you don’t want him/her doing the same mistakes to different people over and over again. And surely, if your talk was fulfilling, your relationship would get better :)) Yes, it’s painful to do the first step, specially if you are the offended part, but how would we know the reason of the offender for doing such? Maybe he/she have problems that we never knew or maybe he/she have issues regarding the course or about us. Without cleaning myself, I know I also have offended some of my friends and I believe that God also uses this realization to wake me up, and realize the fact that, hey! i should say say sorry and apologize for my mistakes, may it be so small or big, we’ll never know. 

It is sometimes hard to forgive when we’ve been done wrong or when we’ve been trespassed, it is hard to confront our offenders and be true to ourselves. It is easier, on the other hand, to just wash away the thought, bury the bad vibes and avoid those people. But remember that doing those is really not moving on. Let’s put ourselves in the offender’s shoes, what if we’ve done something wrong that we’re not aware of? What do we want others to do?

On the other side, surely we’ve done something faulty, not just because we’re imperfect but because in this life, we’re on a learning process. It won’t harm to say your sorry, or ask for people’s opinion about our attitude and the way we co-exist with them. Let’s start repairing our mistakes.

Truly, like the old saying goes, we can’t bring back what had already happened, but I believe that one reason why we are able to breath again onto this day is that, we can be better persons than who we are yesterday. And one way of being better is facing and solving our issues. So go speak to someone who might have offended you or you think you might have offended in a way. Pray to God for wisdom and love for that person. Enjoy your talk! 🙂 ❤

_________________________

Inspirations from the Bible: Matthew 18:15-18 and Ephesian 4:15 🙂 ♥

 

What Isn’t There January 2, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — Joanna Michelle Valdez @ 4:32 pm

“Ma.. It’s me…. Gibson.”

He consciously stopped talking when he was young after witnessing the accidental death of his twin brother, Jamie. For years, he inflicted guilt upon himself for the loss of his brother, whom he believed as his mom’s favorite son. The joyful disposition and the bonds in between the family was buried, together with Jamie’s remains. Retro music, local band gigs and photography made him alive. Being the lost and confused young adult as he is, he embraced the euphoria he gets from smoking, drugs and sex.

Romance formed between him and Enid, a preppy girl he met in a museum whom he found compassion.  Because of the feeling of incompleteness, he frequently imagines the appearance of his twin brother, now grown up like him. He talks to his dead brother whenever he is in his room, thinking that Jamie is talking back to him like his alter ego, believing that relieving his brother somehow makes him not alone.

Being in the higher class of the society, they have more than the necessities of living, like bounty meals, fashionable outfits, big house, and the latest gadgets. Sadly though, the long suffering pain of Jamie’s death had hindered the family to establish strong bonds between its members, diminishing their affinity for each other. The lack of defiance against grief also made them unsupportive to him, now that he’s speech disabled because of his traumatic experience. They never knew the unhappiness he felt inside that made him go looking out from the world, making him involved in wild nature.

He always brings a camera with him, capturing every moment of his life and at night he compiles it on a video entitled letters for Jamie, knowing that if his brother was alive, he would like it as much as he did. Although Jamie had long died, there is a certain part in his heart and even in his everyday life that belongs only to Jamie’s memories. He needs his family to understand that loosing Jamie is not the end of it all. He wants his family to be happy because even if Jamie died, they still have him and that accident was not the outcome of their failures as family members.

At one end, he also wants to belong, to feel important and needed. He loves the company of his friends even at times they make him succumb to vices. He wanted to enjoy life and live without restrictions and his friends are the ones who are commonly at his side. Even though he does not talk, he is naturally friendly. It is easy for him to meet new people. He is not afraid of strangers and is trusting at heart, lining with it, he furthermore seeks companionship. In most cases, he values his friends as much as he values his own family because he find his emotional needs more accounted for, in his circle of friends.

Falling in love ended his years of silence. To Enid, he said I love you, thinking that it is something important to tell, believing that such things should not be left unsaid. Well appreciated but will never be returned. That was his I love you. In distress, he went to his brother’s grave. Jamie appeared just as his desire commanded him to. With his brother’s memory, he had finally forgiven himself from a tragedy that was never his decision, that was really never his fault. And at the end, he talked. He did. He woke up his mom on a new year’s eve. And that action, furnished with drops of tears, redefined his long forgotten presence.

Gibson Bonifacio. Forgiven and loved.

We sometimes look for the things that are not there. We want to own things that we cannot have or no longer have; making us hostile to those that are reachable and present in our lives. We inflict self-pain and  burden to the people who matter because we constantly want others, not them, to be there for us. We drive them away, subconsciously rejecting their affection, subconsciously resisting the idea that we too, have the duty to care for them. We let grief get the best of us. Yes it is hard to be hurt, hard to miss a thing, hard to be robbed of someone. But isn’t it harder to be left alone? To become a stranger to the people we love just because we weren’t strong enough to move on? Even moving on means believing in a happier life.

Inspired by the 2012 Cinemalaya Film Festival entry “Ang Nawawala” directed by Marietta Jamora.

 

The Gift Unwrapped December 8, 2012

Filed under: what i feel — Joanna Michelle Valdez @ 3:23 am

My first blood to stillwaters blog. check it out! http://stillwoblogs.wordpress.com/2012/12/03/the-gift-unwrapped/

🙂 Just to share, I was having second thoughts of accepting Ate Sam’s blog challenge. I felt it so pressuring,  and I became more nervous thinking that I would have to blog about Christmas and its relation to faith. I am still a neophyte blogger, (saying so still gives me the creeps), I’m not even sure if I’m writing sensible stuff.

But then again, a thought occurred to me, I remembered the day when I started my own blog (hersareHIS), my goal and my reason for doing it— to glorify God, spread HIS love.

That reminder erased all my jitters away and that same night, I opened the Bible, Galatians 1:10, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” I realized that the pressure I felt came from my fear of being unheard,  questions, persecution and irrelevance from people who might stumble to it. But then God told me that my talents are for Him, to serve Him and not to impress people. :))

With that, I merrily typed my post and to tell you, I really had a fun moment doing it—- all for God. All the things that I can do, is done because of Him. All I have is from Him. hers are HIS. 🙂 ❤

 

The Curious Cat November 30, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Joanna Michelle Valdez @ 8:44 am

“….. as the waters cover the sea, so Your love covers me, guiding me on roads unknown, I’ll trust in You alone. My saving grace, my endless love, deeper and deeper, I’m falling in love with You.” –My Saving Grace, Hillsong United

 

            October 27, 2011, around 10 o’clock in the morning, the sun was brightfully lit. The pool water was calm, colored blue by the reflection of the clouds. The plants swayed with the dancing of the wind. Everything was at peace. But my heart, it was sinking into thousand depths, plunging into the deepest realms. No words can fathom the reality of what’s happening, my mind was racing fast, thoughts were swirling, and memories flash back and forth. That time, the past seemed dim, the present was too overwhelming, but I was sure of one thing, my future, it was decided.

Before that moment, I attended a class, there were a few of us, the curious cats as I may describe. We huddled in a small circle, answering the call for attention of our junior pastor. A renowned story was once again preached. I’ve been hearing the story of the Pentecost a couple of times, the moment when the Spirit of God visited the apostles, making them speak in unknown languages and having them  filled with unknown braveness. Another story is the Passover, the last plague sent by God before He saved the Israelites from the Egyptians. When the Spirit of God pass over Egypt, the firstborns of the Egyptians were killed while those of the Israelites were saved because of the blood that marked a cross on their doors.

            I’ve heard these stories so many times before, being a Sunday school kid and studying at a Christian school when I was in elementary, attending worship services during high school, and Bible studies when I entered college. But that moment when it was retold, was very fascinating for me. The message stirred the contents of my heart, spilling all the pain, emptying all the troubles and filling it up again with so much hope and love. At the end of the session, the pastor, kuya Melvin asked us to pray, have a time between me and the One who shook my soul. I reflected on my life, asking Him if that was the moment; the certain event where I will decide to start my journey of suffering, confrontation, redemption and salvation.

People were calling their families asking if it would be fine with them if they would take the water baptism. Some talked to their disciplers, to the church staff, inquiring how important this decision is. I, being myself, walked away from the crowd, dipped my feet on the pool, feeling the coldness. That time, Yes” was the only word that I knew, the only word I recognize, the only word that mattered. So when the pastor asked us again if we are in for the baptism, I said yes.

There were four of us who raised our hands. Hearing our decisions, everybody felt delighted, everybody was very supportive, hugging us, kissing us. The worship team gathered, guitars and the drum were set. The pastor walked to the pool. Sitting on the edge, waiting for my turn, my feet were shaking, my eyes were watery with held back tears, my heart pounding. Kuya Melvin opened the ceremony with the story of John the Baptist baptizing people who renew their faith to God. Every word was a blur, my mind was racing.

Then, I was called. As I traverse the waters of the pool, going to the center, my tears found their freedom, and I started crying, the pastor asked me why did I decided to say yes…. Boom! I forgot what I said. But for the record, my story is a version of the prodigal son. After praying for me, instructions were given, the placing of my hands, the stance I should maintain so I won’t be hurt, everything is so fast, all I remember was the words two and three, and then the dampness of the pool embraced me. Under, I can’t breathe, I can’t see anything but after a while, hands pulled me up, I opened my eyes, I saw my churchmates crying, the worship team was singing happy songs, it was indeed a celebration. As I step out of the pool, people embraced me, prayed for me. I can’t stop crying. The feeling was like, I was child lost in a big supermarket then after hours of being afraid, my worrying mother found me.

That day was a year ago, and to tell you, after that, huge things happened, my world turned upside down. The journey was not full of joy rides, sometimes its bumpy, there were times that I just want to go back to the old me but a power drives me back to that moment and after that, I start racing my way again to the finish line.

 

That was my greatest decision, not by far, it was, it is, and it will forever be the greatest decision I could ever take in my whole life. The decision to say yes to God. To surrender my life for Him. I realized that Christianity is not for the strong, for the happy ones nor for the able. Christ is for the weak, the lost, the sad and the unable. That time, I realized that I was so tired of living for myself, tired of living without reasons and searching for the unreal happiness. That time I surrendered my life to the One who had created me, to the One who loves me unconditionally. I surrendered my life to HIm. For His, was the voice that made the universe came to life. His, is the voice that makes the sun rise, His, will be the voice that will welcome those who believed.

 

welcoming a new soul! November 17, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — Joanna Michelle Valdez @ 7:18 am

welcoming a new soul!

a new girl, a new leader, Janine Paz (the pretty one between the two girls) was welcomed last tuesday, November 13 in our housechurch’s leadership team!

This moment was very fascinating for me. Again, God had shown me what it looks like when a life is changed by the Gospel. This girl, with her wonderful singing voice, soft heart and shy giggles, made us feel God through her simple ways. Now, as she face another era of her journey with God, I’m just so excited to see her grow more and serve with passion not only inside the church but more to the outside sphere. 🙂

I pray that as we sit together on the front row of serving God, we’ll be able to establish a sisterhood that would make us feel loved and a team that would be God’s tool for everyone to see His light. 🙂

 

Filed under: Uncategorized — Joanna Michelle Valdez @ 6:58 am

a sweet note from a sweet girl close to my heart 🙂

irishtranslation

This lady who never fails to make me smile at my most agitated moods. After almost a semester of not being able to talk properly, we were able to schedule a date. And because I believe that kung gusto palaging merong paraan, we had to squeeze that date on  a Saturday morning.

So on a week-end, I had to wake up at six am, and rode the LRT to Katipunan. In spite of my massive effort to be really early and arrive ahead of Joa, she was still the first one to arrive in our meeting place. We ordered two big breakfasts, good enough to last us the whole day. In retrospect, I guess those breakfast meals served to fuel us for the four hours we consumed on that date. Tee-hee.

The date happened weeks ago, and looking back, I realized how very enlightening that 4 hour-date was. She shared…

View original post 298 more words

 

 
Open Bibles

Free and Offline Android Bible Software

multilingualaspirer

Language. Food. Love. Nature. God. In everyday life. :)

re-Ver(sing) Verses

reading, singing, analyzing bible verses

ROCKET 91st

"We shall never forget them nor the last time we saw them, as they prepared for their mission and waved good-bye and slipped the surly bonds of Earth to touch the face of God." -Ronald Raegan

Law of Undulation

Peaks and troughs of our relationship with God [C.S. Lewis]

Captured By Jesus

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever -- Psalm 23:6 (NKJV)

followyouroad

est. 2009

Stoplights and Spotlights

Life is more than warning signs and intersections.

Less For More

He must become more important, while I become less important. John 3:30

Love. Letters.

this is the way that i say "i love You"

Stillwaters Blog

Kicking and screaming for eternity.

Must Love Couches

Couch surfing until I find my own place in the world

irishtranslation

my take on the world ;)

myshiee

Everything's random. Scrap that. Nothing's random :)

Inexpressible Joys

reflections of truth. breakthroughs in life.

trudisbiik

buhay. emosyon. pag-asa

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.